People always imagine that good writing is the entire key secret to creating a successful memoir.  But before I can write anything, I have to first MASTER THE ART OF LISTENING TO YOU.

That’s the #1 job of any ghostwriter—absorbing every nuance of what you have to say—focusing 100% on the words you use, the manner in which you say them, and the way you convey your feelings.

A GREAT LISTENER: Pays attention. They don’t listen to respond. They’re totally focused in the moment. The job is to truly hear your subject and draw them out.  You do not interrupt. You don’t jump in to give your interpretation, advice, or judgment. You know when to talk and when to listen. You can pivot quickly and deepen the conversation with just the right follow up question. You are patient and interested. You do your homework.

How and where did I learn to do this? Long before I was writing books, I was a full-time newspaper reporter and magazine journalist, interviewing film stars, politicians, TV personalities, business executives, and media figures.

Whether I was in a hotel suite interviewing Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep or Al Pacino, or having lunch at home with Katharine Hepburn or Diana Ross, or in a historic place like the White House interviewing the First Lady, I was on HIGH ALERT. My ears were wide open and so were my eyes, as I absorbed the sights and sounds all around me.

My purpose was to turn on the tape recorder and listen ever so carefully to what I was hearing. It was only then that I returned back to my office to create an interview that captured the voice of my subject. I often talked about my interviews on such programs as The Today Show, Oprah, and Larry King Live.

DoI  have any quick tips for conducting a great interview, especially with famous interviewees?

• Establishing rapport from the moment you arrive is the first and most important thing to do. Don’t be too serious.

• Don’t be intimidated. Be relaxed. Tell a joke. Say something personal that relates to something they’re interested in.

• Take at least the first 10 minutes to just get warmed up, make eye contact, establish a warm connection. If they’re a dog lover, show them a picture of your dog. I’ve done it.

• NEVER start by asking direct questions. I like the indirect approach. Construct your questions as comments. I’ve interviewed many film stars and always start by telling them my impression of them in the movie, and I get them talking without them feeling like they’re on the spot.

But the first impression is important:

• Meryl Streep was watching I Love Lucy re-runs when I arrived, so we watched them together.

• Paul Newman was making ice-cubes, getting ready for his daughter’s birthday party, so he asked if I would help him in the kitchen! I gave him my grandmother’s famous cookies.

• Katharine Hepburn invited me to lunch and I brought along her favorite chocolate bunnies and a copy of my Horowitz book. “His chauffeur was my chauffeur,” she told me, “in the l930’s.”

• Calvin Klein took me out on the terrace of his penthouse for an informal chat before we began the interview, showing me the skyline of New York and what he loved about it.

• When I went to Lionel Richie’s house, to reduce my nervousness, I sat in his living room and played a Chopin Ballade on his Steinway while waiting for him. When he walked into the room, he started clapping! He liked the background music.

• When Elizabeth Taylor walked down the staircase of her penthouse at the Plaza Athene to begin our interview, she came up to me and I told her: “You have beautiful skin.” She answered: “Would you like to touch it?” I did and asked her the secret. “Sesame oil,” she smiled, then tossing me her ring, the Krupp diamond, for a closer look. I couldn’t make any of this stuff up. It just happened.

And in all cases we had some fun before the interview began.

Even when things went wrong, we grew closer. I tape-recorded Leona Helmsley at the time she was on trial, and the first hour was dynamite. But my tape recorder wasn’t recording! I was beyond upset, told her what had happened, she held my hand as we walked around her terrace and told me that we would record the entire thing over again, which we did.

We subsequently became good friends.

In any case, You want to RELAX your subject (short of drugging them!), be genuine, don’t look down at your questions. Memorize them in advance and stay connected.

When you focus totally and listen carefully, you can capture the voice of your subject. This was the greatest training possible for my work as a ghostwriter.